Always a Shadow.

I have many moments where I just lie in my bed and think. Whenever this happens my thoughts always come to one thing, my parents. I want them to look back at their hopes for me growing up and seriously think. Did I grow up according to plan? Do they think I'm wasting my time doing things I want to do? I try extremely hard to make it in life. Personally, I just want to make them proud. I try not to think about how much pain I am caused being unacknowledged by my own parents. I am not noticed for doing things that are right; however, my brothers and sisters were noticed for doing things that were wrong. In the shadow of my brothers and sisters my parents leave me to walk, especially my mother. It must've been hard for my mom to raise seven kids on her own. It pains me to know how much trouble my older siblings caused upon her while growing up. It was difficult. They made her mad, frustrated, stressed, sad, hurt, and most of all disappointed with their reckless and indecent behavior. However, when it comes to my father it was a bit different. My father wasn't around much growing up. He would come and go and for that my love for my own father figure grew into something else. I eventually grew to despise him. I despised him for the longest time; which made me feel as if there was a darkness inside of me from all of the "hate". Nevertheless, no matter how my parents make me feel there was once a time when they were my heroes. However this was when I was little, before I had realized the reality of how things really were. Because of the actions of my older siblings I was constantly judged growing up. My parents didn't notice the things I would do right but they would await for the times I would do wrong. With the realization of this theory I have always felt like I would never be good enough for my parents, especially my mother. I felt as if no matter how well I am doing it would never satisfy her. The effect that this has upon me is an invearable pain that I hide. Behind walls and a mask I will forever hide. It will hide my true feelings while I act as if I feel nothing. In the dark and grey shadows my family leaves me to walk. While all I maintain is silence until the day that the shadows that I walk in see sunlight. That will be the day that I will get acknowledged for all the things that are right that I have done.

#2 Technology

"It has become appalling obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." - Albert Einstein
Technology continues to make extraordinary breakthroughs. A computer system that can play music with just brain power is one of the recent experiments that's extremely close to be proven useful. I came accross this information while searching through the internet. The Article "Thought-provoking technology makes music with mind power by Matthew Knight for CNN instantly caught my attention. The fact that scientists and researchers are able to create such technology is unbelievably remarkable. The researchers are creating this unique brain computer music interface, what they call BCMI, to help people suffering from physical dissabilities. The computer system responds to electric impulses given off from the brain by creating music. The BCMI started off as music project but turned to a scientific project. The computer system is hoped to help out people with any type of disability. After years of researching the scientists found out that music can help regulate the body and improve cognitive ability. However, the performance for the BCMI is on at 60-70% when it needs to be at 80-90% to actually be considered useful.
After reading all the information included in the article I was completely astonished. Personally, I love music. To find out that music can help with all of these different things amazes me. However, I also question the advances in our technology. Technology is advancing so rapidly how is humanity going to keep up with the continuous changes. However, I will still support the changes considering we cannot stop them. I just hope that with all these technological changes within the world humanity will still remember how we once did things without technology.

Sleeping At Last "Turning Page"

Judging by the title someone would probably think that I am referring to actual sleep. In actuality, I am not. What I'm referring to is a song: Turning Page by Sleeping At Last. Recently, the song was featured in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part One. Which is where I first heard it. The reason why I am writing about this song out of all things is because this song actually helps me. I listen to Turning Page at least 3 times everyday. While listening to the song it helps me when it comes to: resolving personal problems, sorting thoughts, doing homework, relaxing, and even putting my baby cousin to sleep. This song helps me a lot because of the melody of the song. The melody of the song is very calm and soothing. As for the words, they are soothing as well. The soft rhythm helps me relax and think much better compared to if I were listening to some of my other music. Personally, I enjoy the song Turning Page by Sleeping At Last and hopefully others will too.

#1: Blogs

I have never been the type of person to write down how I feel. I would usually say how I feel about a certain topic and be done with it. However, I like hearing, seeing, or reading about other people's feelings. Upon, recieving this assignment I got to do what I enjoy, which is seeing how other's feel. I, personally, like reading about other people. Therefore, I am sure I am becoming quite fond of blogging. While I was exploring through different blogs, three of them come to mind. I was either quite fond of the blogs, or I absolutely despised the them. The three blogs that come to mind are: cupcakes and cashmere, Parenting Illustrated With Crappy Pictures, and The Pioneer Woman.
I liked reading The blogs: Cupcakes and Cashmere, and Parenting Illustrated With Crappy Pictures. The Blog Cupcakes and Cashmer caught my attention because it's girly. In the blog I found fashion,styling, recipes, and decor. I like to learn how to do new things, and in this blog It shows me: how to make new recipes, do new hairstyles, keep up with today's fashion, and create little decorations. Eventhough, cupcakes and cashmere caught my attention it didn't have too much of humor in the blog, in which I found in Parenting illustrated with crappy pictures. The parenting blog is humorous and relates to everyday family life. While reading this blog, I had flashmbacks of personal experiences with my family.
The blog I disliked was the Pioneer Woman. I, Personally, didn't like this blog because I feel it didn't relate to me in any kind of way. The Pioneer Woman was more like for older women in my personal opinion. Nevertheless, I still enjoy reading these different types of blogs. I plan on to cotinue reading the variety of blogs the internet has to offer.